Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
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