She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
