The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
