tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
