I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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