i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
