Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
