i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize