You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
