Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
