WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
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I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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