so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
