I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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