just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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