Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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