hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
