Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I fill condoms, not promises.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
