I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
