half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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