what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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