I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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