Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
