I hate your face
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
