Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
