I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
