Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
