it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
