I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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