every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
