found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
All I want is dick and wine.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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