TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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