Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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