I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Do vagina's smell?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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