Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
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Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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