I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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