Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
