I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
