Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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