and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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