oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
