why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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