you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
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Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
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Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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