I want to have your abortion
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
