i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I have fence marks all over my body
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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