YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
