is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
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