I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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