i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Holy sore nipples Batman
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
