So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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