Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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