I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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