i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Say something about gay babies.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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