Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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