Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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