I skipped work to stalk him.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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