Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
