I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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