I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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